Ten Ways to Drive Your Partner Mad

Ever been driven crazy by a partner who follows strategies which have been handed down in  their own  family and field-tested through generations?

They say insanity runs in families. In some, unfortunately it doesn't only run - it sprints!

Follow these instructions, applying one method  liberally for at least 24 hours. If there is no reaction, either increase the strength or double the dose i.e. use two together. If insanity (for either partner) does not occur within six months please reread the suggestions, shake the partner well, burn these pages, then check into a psychiatric unit of your choice.

1. Continually collect their belongings and put them away. Do not, on any account, allow them to remain on the floor or in any readily accessible place. For example, clothes go into the laundry basket or the ironing, or both just to confuse the matter. Wallets, purses, keys or other important items which are normally dumped on any flat surface (AFS) must be moved to another FS, preferably in separate room or out of sight of the first FS.

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This article continues with nine other annoyingly familiar, partner-maddening habits.

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©Sally Hammond 2006

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