WHAT THE S DON'T TELL YOU

© Sally Hammond  

An ancient proverb says it well: 'To lie about a far country is easy'.

And while travel brochures – those wonderful glossy productions pitched somewhere between a coffee table decoration and a work of art – don't set out to be actually misleading, the end-result sometimes strays a little from the truth.

In these publications the sun always shines, everyone smiles, all food is fresh, the water safe, fish line up to be hooked, and exhausted adjectives like 'beautiful, stunning, super, azure and  dazzling' end up needing a vacation themselves after their workout.

But if you are alert (and perhaps a trifle cynical) other phrases can take on a whole new meaning too:

 'Natural beauty' may mean that the resort is still developing. This is fine if you like sand in your shoes and frequent power blackouts. Beware too any compound word that begins 'eco...'. It may be a synonym for unfinished. Or at least more ‘natural’ than you might choose.

'Secluded' (also 'quiet, remote') strikes a chord if you are frazzled by the speed of city living, but do check whether you will be so sidelined that you must trudge a kilometre from the end of the bus route, or down/up a cliff from the road to get there.        ……………….
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This wry look at brochure-speak continues with  tongue-in-cheek redefinitions of some common clichés used in travel advertising literature.

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(finishes…)

One thing is certain. If you make a mistake in your choice of vacation spot, no one need ever know.

When your friends ask how was the trip, all you have to do is say: "Tropical, secluded, leisurely... walking distance from everything. And the staff were so-o-o friendly."

You can do it. As the proverb says: it's easy

 ©Sally Hammond 2006 

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